My love life has been “non-existent.” 
 
But this time around I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything like I may have many times before. Why? Because I’ve figured out what I want finally. 
 
This:

 
 
I wish I had what John Mulaney & his wife have. And I feel like I no longer want to settle for anything less.

 
 
 
Everything that has ever happened to me romantically hasn’t been ground breaking. In all seriousness. I’ve had much better experiences not being in love than being in any relationship I’ve ever had (romantically).  
 
I’ve traveled. 
 
I’ve eaten. 
 
I’ve experienced. 
 
I’ve felt. 
 
I’ve never had anything like this:

 
 
 
Also, its not fair that they are like probably the most gorgeous couple ever. 


 
 
Like how dare you be this beautiful & that happy? 
Meanwhile, I sit alone in my apartment night after night eating different versions of shrimp and waiting for the right person notice i exist.

 
Please sign me up for a life like this:

 
 
 
Like I wanna wear you on a T-shirt. 
 
One day I will find someone  
 
Who will say this about me: 
 

 
Am i unhealthly in love with the Mulaneys? Yes. 
 
But they also made me realize exactly what it is i want. 
 
I would love a best friend who loves adventures. 
 
I would love someone who can take a joke and makes fun of me back. 
 
I would love to feel so sure about how i feel about someone and have it be right . 
Although, i dont know how accurate I’ll ever be. I think everyone is he one when I start to fall. 
 
I dont really have good judgement. 
 
Everytime I think theres a spark between me and someone I’m wrong. 
 
And 90% of the advances people try to make on me …. make me wanna puke. 
 
To quote George Costanza  
“When they like me i dont like them  
when I like them they dont like me” 
 
(I dont know if thats exact.. but its exactlyyyyyy how i feel) 
 
Pray for my soul. 
 
My vagina is collecting dust.