You can tell by the year round lit up trees in the background that I am clearly at Prime in Huntington. If you aren’t from Long Island, Prime is a glorious restaurant where people go to pretend to be fancy for one marvelous evening. It is the kind of place you go to to make shady business deals or find your next rich husband. But I am unemployed and i have no need for a rich husband so I go there for the food. (And for birthday celebrations!)

We started off our dinner with a bottle of prosecco & a few salads. I did not take pictures of salads because nobody cares about salads. (Do you hear me Emma Roberts?? Nobody cares about your salads!!!)

Anyways…

When the waiter had mentioned that the Brussel sprouts were on the menu everyone thought that I was being murdered. Because of my enthusiasm. When you are at prime you always order the Brussel sprouts. Even if you don’t like them. Order them and bring them home to me. I have never dined at Prime and not requested the Brussel sprouts. They are a prime staple.

I am sorry these pictures are so blurry but I only took videos from last night. Why? Because prosecco gets me drunker faster. And my cognitive thinking skills aren’t what you think they are if we’re being completely honest. The red roof roll was amazing. We got the spicy mayo on the side because the birthday girl cannot handle the spicy mayo lifestyle. Which actually worked out to our advantage because you get more spicy mayo. And in my personal opinion, the more mayo the better. (Has anyone put spicy mayo on a sandwich? I feel like that would be amazing. Like a chicken sandwich with Doritos lettuce tomato on a whole wheat roll? Help me)

At Prime you can order “Butter Poached Lobster over Spinach”. You can find this menu item under the category “Enhancements.” (Enhancements is fancy-rich person speak for extreme side dish. It’s not quite an entree or a side dish or an appetizer. It’s an enhancement. And it has enhanced my life.)

We also ordered the halibut and the macaroni and cheese. I cannot speak for the fish because I was only interested in the mushroom stuff under it. The mushroom stuff was unreal. The sauce was crack. The mushrooms were finely sliced. And the truffly-goodness of it all turned my fork into some kind of fattening magnet.

The macaroni and cheese was a birthday girl favorite. It had all the components of a well made Mac n cheese. I was positive that the chef in the back was non other than my Grandma Hellen. It was not her but I think they stole her recipe… I’m still suspicious.

Lastly, we got the cheese cake. As seen in this picture:

I also ordered an espresso martini. Because are you really even having dessert if you’re not having an espresso martini?

The cake was good. I tasted coconut but that might’ve been all in my head. It could’ve been the martini talking. (I’m not a coconut fan) but despite the coconut I could not stop eating the cake. I was a balloon by the time we left Prime.

All in all, Prime was a delicious decision. I would go again tonight. But my bank account told me I’m not allowed to go for another 3-6 months.